Goblin Uprising

Session 1: Arrival
destitute outcast bench salesmen

[7/14/2012. Down one player. Character creation took up a fair bit of the time. Actual play was short, but fun.]

Urist (male goblin Ranger 1)
Malbolgia (male goblin Barbarian 1)
Baughb (male goblin Wizard 1)

The party and their tribe member minions washed up on a beach, having lost their raft and most of the supplies to a storm. They took stock (noting that their bench survived the storm), and after considering going straight to trying to make alcohol, decided to investigate a small house a little further South along the beach in the hopes of finding shelter.

They sneaked up to the house using the cover of the inland forest. There was a wrecked chicken coop and a tidewater fish pool next to the house, which is built on pilings over the beach. Two goblins, Viggu and Flarg, were living in the house, and after some coaxing, the party managed to get them to come outside to talk, and befriended them with wine. Baughb tried to Charm Viggu, but failed. The lie he told about checking to see if he was an ogre in disguise seemed to satisfy Viggu as to the purpose of the spell, though.

Viggu claims there were elves living here originally, and that an ogre came and killed them recently. Urist found tracks on the beach that corroborate that. There seemed to be some number of smaller things with the ogre, with pointy-toed feet.

Baughb confirmed that nothing in the house is magical, and invisibly Wizard Marked the door.

As we left off, Malbolgia and Baughb are inside the house with Viggu and Flarg. The minions had been sent back to retrieve the rest of the supplies from further up the beach (the wine and precious bench having been brought down earlier). Urist is in the forest, looking for edible fruit and setting snares for small game.

Session 2
Gnolls and Trolls


The PCs went up to look at the smoke to the North, and found 5 well-armed gnolls lounging on the beach. They returned to get the minions, and started planning an ambush, but by then the gnolls were moving on. The gnolls went hunting in the woods, with the goblins trailing them at a safe distance. Eventually, the gnolls downed a (wild? escaped?) mule, and the goblins tried to sneak up to ambush them, but Malbolgia made a noise and the gnolls heard. The goblins aborted and scattered, with the gnolls giving chase. A confused running-around-in-the-woods followed. Eventually the goblins lost the gnolls, and eventually regrouped back at the blockhouse on the beach. Urist managed to snag two mule legs in the process.

On the way back, Baughb had run across three humans camping a little further inland. He asked them about civilization, and they told him “[something] is several days’ West of here”. Baughb decided they said ‘wank-crest’, and various versions of that name have been used since.

The next day, Urist went looking to see if he could find a trail near where the humans were. He didn’t find any more general route, but he could follow them. That led him to a troll tannery. He decided to come back that night and rob the trolls.

Baughb, Urist, and a couple of their minions returned to the troll camp that night. They lit a fire a little ways off, luring the trolls into leaving camp to investigate, and then ransacked the place. They made off with a bunch of stuff, including some liquor, a large sack of pastries, and a few coins. Shortly thereafter, they heard the trolls following them, and ran for it. More slightly-less-confused running-around-in-the-woods. Baughb’s creative use of Enlarge Person to gain a little extra movement rate saved his life. They escaped with their loot intact.

Session 3
Goblin's Log, Gobdate 8/18/2012

The week began okay, with Baughb working on his crazy catapult flingy thing and Urist doing useful things like finding food for everyone (minion #1 and the other guy helped a little). We liked the pastries we took from the stinky trolls.

Then some elves came out of the woods. Tuqq the Cleric tried to make nice with them by sharing our pastries, but they wanted to look inside the house and take our stuff. We didn’t have any stuff though so they went back into the woods. Urist followed them into the woods and he saw them standing around and talking elfy stuff. One of them drew this picture in the dirt:


which Urist didn’t think looked very much like Viggu at all.

Then the elves all came out of the woods and we had a big fight. Urist tried to set a trap for them but when he came back they were all gone. Meanwhile Baughb was flinging glowy explodey things at them, Malbolgia was charging at them, and everyone else couldn’t decide whether they wanted to be in the house or not. After Malbolgia ate a couple of arrows he got the bright idea to sling rocks at them from behind the house, which worked great because he hit one in the eye and he went right down. Meanwhile Urist found a nice bow and some arrows on the elf that Baughb purple-glowy-thingied. After that all the rest of us came running out of the house and so the elves ended up tied up under the house in the water. We found some great stuff on them, like

  • 3 short swords (well, short for them, long for us)
  • 2 short bows
  • 1 crazy elfy bow
  • 1 heavy crossbow
  • a scaley mail, a bandy mail, and some more leather for our stinky leather collection
  • 1 dagger
  • 1 long spear
  • gold, elfy food, crossbow bolts, arrows, a spell book
  • lots of prancy elfy clothes with only a little blood on them

so we had a big dinner and went to sleep inside the house. We left the elves tied up so we could have dinner the next day too, but some lobstery fishy thingies in the sea seemed to think elves were good dinner too because they came and ate all of our elves in the night. They cut up the rope too.

Then there was a glowy thing in the woods on Urist’s night watch, so Urist asked Baughb what it was and Baughb decided the best thing to do for a mysterious glowy thingy was to go running into the dark woods after it and ask it questions. The glowy thingy didn’t like that very much and zapped the heck out of Baughb. Luckily Urist thought the best thing to do with mysterious glowy thingies was to chase after crazy mages who talk to them, so he dragged Baughb back after he got zapped. Baughb smelled kind of like barbecue for a while.

Then Baughb and Malbolgia needed some quiet time while Tuqq put them back together, so Baughb’s dudes worked on the flingy catapult thing some more while Urist made himself useful in the forest. We saw some weird things that day, like a flying rug, and a blue giant (but Tuqq gave him a pastry so he went away instead of eating goblins instead), and a basilisk.

That night a three legged stinky thing came out of the woods. Baughb said it was an Otyug, and they eat garbage, so we hid inside the house while it ate all our garbage. It seemed to think Baughb’s wine smelled like garbage because it ate that too.

The End, so far as Urist cares anyway.

Catapult! HehehHEhHheHEhehe....

Catapult! Catapult! Catapult!

The catapult is done! And it didn’t blow up when we fired it! :)

In unimportant news:

While we were working on the glorious catapult, a lady in a white dress showed up and said she was a servant to the big blue guy; she warned us about the trolls – that they’re angry, and looking for us. So, we worked on the catapult! Malbolge dug pits and filed them with pointy sticks, and the cleric went looking for fruit. (We’re brewing again!)

Some of the minions used the sacred bench to dig more tidepools. That looked silly, so I built them some shovels, which worked much betta. (They should be red for speed though.) On the plus side, we now have 6 new reinforced pools, so we don’t have to hunt quite so much.

The big blue guy’s servant also said that he liked our pastries and would trade with us for more (note to self: get betta at baking), and the cleric had the bright idea to go get fruit (we found an orchard) and make some fruit leather until we can find a cow and chickens and flour (or really, steal them from the humans) she also made some flowers for diplomacy or something. I think she’s just a girl. Silly girls. :P

Then not-fun stuff happened. Some griffons (really dumb birds) showed up, and tried to peck our hut to death, but they turned out to be the pets of some big grey dude. He didn’t speak or really seem all that bright, but he did eat almost all our pastries! Toqq gave him a glowing rock, an that seemed to satisfy him. We gotta figure out how to make more pastries. And how to kill giant bird-things.

We’d seen some bats (Goood eatin’!) off in the wood for several days, and thought we’d send the ranger this time to poke around that, and a campfire we saw way off (I’m still twitching from my last ‘random woods encounter’). We got bored waiting on the beach (there was a guy in a canoe, but he passed by), so we went in to the campfire to see why the ranger was so late. He wasn’t there, but an ogre and lizardfolk were. So we scurried off. Better traps, and we can lure them onto the beach to die by catapult!

While we were gone, Viggo and the other one (Bait? I forget his name) made off with all our stuff (Malbolge, that’s what you get for warning our experiments.) We chased them through the woods, but got waylaid by a different Ogre and some gnolls. Miraculously, no dead goblins, an’ we whupped dat ogre, for awesome loot. :) Half the party was banged up enough to send home (the tidepools will feed them), and the other half is pressing on – we’ll eat Viggo and Bait-boy if we have to, but I want our stuff back.

Also, we made some sand/clay bricks – for building a small hut on our big hut.

And we’re brewing indoors this time. No more of that garbage beast eating our stuff.

And the fruit leather is on the way.

And I’m going to figure out how to use the trolls for rations. :)

- Catapult!
- Killed Ogre and Gnolls.
- Built tide pools.
- Malbolge made some good armor from the elf stuff.

Working on:
- Killing Viggo and Flarg and reclaiming rations.
- Setting traps for the Trolls
- Exploring bat-cave and killing other Ogre (Catapult!)
- Building a brick hut on our hut (2-300 brick progress of 1000 needed)
- Making or stealing pastries.
- Dealing with the Blue guy and killing the Grey guy (and his mean birds).
- Armoring the rest of the fighters.
- Making enough tide pools to self-sustain with no hunting.
- Get more fruit for fruit leather.

Passively occurring:
- Beer
- Fruit Leather

Session 5: First TPK
Trolls fall, everyone dies.

Urist, Baughb, Malbolgia and Prik continued to track the fleeing Viggu and Flarg after the fight with the ogre, while Tuqq escorted the casualties back to the blockhouse. They tracked the two goblins most of the night, over a saddle pass and past a watchtower, a field full of boulders, a distant firelight, a small stone building in the distance, and to a scree field on the Western slope, where they found Flarg’s half-eaten body and a large feline footprint. Viggu seemed to have gone further on, so they followed his tracks down into dense forest and into a hedge maze. They explored part of the maze in the dark, it now being around 3am. They heard a large animal nearby, and turned to leave, but ran straight into the minotaur who presumably owned the maze (and his wolf companion) on their way out.
The minotaur cleaved his way through the goblins in short order as they attempted to flee through the maze. Only Malbolgia escaped to hole up in the forest until morning. Everyone else died messily.
The next morning, Malbolgia started to make his way back toward the coast, but he was spotted (botched Stealth roll, in Malbolgian tradition) by a circling harpy as he reached the rockslide area where Flarg had died. He tried to hide under a rock, but the harpy’s song called him out and the harpy killed him after a brief fight.

Meanwhile, Tuqq et al had made their way back to the blockhouse without any further drama, and they healed up over the next few days, digging more tidepools and scraping by on partial rations.

Just as they were getting back on their feet, though, the trolls from the tannery showed up looking for vengeance. The catapult did heavy damage to one of them as the trolls ran down the beach, but it wasn’t enough, and the trolls tore the goblins apart, killing everyone except Minion #1, who fled early enough to escape and hide in the forest.

Before she died, Tuqq left behind a brief note with guidance for any future settlers. Everyone prayed for divine intervention from their various deities (and in some cases just to any deity that happened to be listening), but to no avail.

Minion #1 eventually returned to find the hut still intact, though nearly everything else had been smashed or taken, and all the goblin corpses eaten. (The bench survived, though.)

The desolation awaits the arrival of a fresh batch of goblin settlers. Minion #1 and Tuqq’s note preserve some of the knowledge gained by the first, doomed group…

Session 7: second TPK

A harpy in a palanquin and four robed gnolls arrived in the forest shortly after dark, and the harpy’s song entranced most of the goblins, who shuffled out of the hut and across the beach. Reno, Flash, and Grab – the only ones with their wits still about them – tried to lock everyone inside the blockhouse, but they reacted too slowly and only contained about half the entranced goblins. They went outside to pursue the rest.
The resulting fight went very poorly, with a handful of alert goblins trying to interrupt the harpy’s singing while being cut down by the gnolls.
The alert goblins all died, and the entranced ones were tied up and escorted away.

Only Snaga ever came to her senses again; she ‘awoke’ in the process of being led off a cliff by the harpy’s song, and ran down the mountain she was on and into the forest, where she successfully hid from the gnolls, who gave up looking for her. That makes her the only survivor for a second time.

Session 8: Renaissance

A new batch of hopeful goblins arrived. They made immediate contact with Snaga, who saw their raft coming across the sea. They set up residence in the blockhouse once again.

Pyre’s idea of slaughtering deer with Invisibility to Animals worked beautifully; they began to build up a small food reserve and have more time for other things. They brought chickens, some fertilized eggs, and a lot of plants, and they set those up.

Over the course of the next few days they rebuilt the catapult, made a shortbow, started tanning several hides, tried and failed to make more alchemist’s fire, and concentrated some poison from Pyre’s castor beans.

The otyugh came back to eat the offal from the slaughtered deer.

On the first morning, a human girl, aged perhaps 11, came walking casually up the beach. She claimed to be out shopping for her mother, and presented the goblins with what seemed to be a witch’s shopping list, including: Giant Bee abdomen, Ettercap kidney, frog eggs, bay leaves, deerstongue, star anise, and wormwood. They said they didn’t have any of those things, but would keep an eye out for them; she said she’d come back at some point.

That night, Baughb woke up briefly unable to breathe; he lost a point of Con that still hasn’t returned. No one could find poison or magic (at least not by the time the spells were available). Bernie thinks it might have been a Night Terror, but isn’t sure what that is beyond ‘an evil spirit’.

The following day they explored the bat cave, and successfully fought the giant bat within. They also claimed a shovel, a pick, and a wooden bucket.

The next day they returned the cave to explore it’s final chamber, where Baughb, who was scouting ahead, was jumped by a pale, emaciated undead creature the goblins decided to call a vampire. It also went down quickly under a pile of goblins.

The cave contains a well with water, a shallow grave-like pit, a metal chandelier, a wooden scaffolding-platform, and a charcoal-scrawling that reads “mind the gap”. And lots and lots of bats and their guano. The goblins are considering moving in, but want a back exit; they’ve considered digging one.

The goblins then ventured further South, toward where the little girl had told them there was a human fort. They ran across an ettercap fort, instead, which Baughb scouted without being noticed. Unsure how many ettercaps there were, the party went around. They also found a giant bee, which they killed (and kept its abdomen for the witch).

The session ended as they were about to arrive near the human fort.

Morale among the minions is high so far; Baughb (and sometimes Bernie) having been entertaining the goblins in the evenings, they have no shortage of venison to eat, and sound shelter. The days have been busy, but with adventures frequently interrupting the labor, and their few fights so far have been clear victories.

Session 9: Ettercap Fort
In which a new house is acquired

The goblins found the human fort, but decided it was much too scary to interact with. In the process of scouting around it, they also found the anthill of some large centauroid ant creatures nearby. They returned to the blockhouse to sleep. Baughb ventured out on his own to scout the human fort further that night.

The following day, they returned to the ettercap fort, bringing the catapult with them. Their attempt to sneak the catapult in close enough for a flat-trajectory shot failed miserably (more stealth rolls from Barnabus), and the two ettercaps left their fort to attack the goblins. One was splattered by a point-blank catapult shot, and the other was worn down with many sling stones and force missiles.

The goblins harvested their kidneys for the witch, and also their venom sacs (for Pyre to make poison out of). They explored the fort, finding some leather and a log trap that narrowly missed Baughb when he opened the front gates.

They decided to move into the ettercap fort and leave the blockhouse. Some of the party was sent back North to retrieve their belongings. On the way they crossed paths with a pair of rather stupid and dirty giants who were walking through the forest shouting for “Org”. The goblins followed the giants unseen, and let them search the blockhouse – they ate the chickens but didn’t touch anything else (or find Snaga, who was hiding in the false ceiling). Pyre made a stable poison from one of the ettercap venom sacs that afternoon, yielding 4 doses of ettercap poison (she ruined the other one).

The next morning, the goblins toted everything they own down to their new digs in the ettercap fort, and started clearing trees from around it to give the catapult a better field of fire. The hunting trip that afternoon failed, and they ate the last of their food that night.

Session 10: Slaughter at the Quarry

The goblins spent a productive week undiscovered by anything that wanted to eat them, making their new fort better. They added a walkway and some ladders, reset the swinging log trap, dug a secret tunnel out the back (complete with snare trap on the exterior surface) and placed noise-making traps around the perimeter. They also left detritus and spare sprung traps around to make the place look abandoned.

They left a note for the witch girl at the old blockhouse, arranging to meet her on the day of the full moon. They gave her all the ‘shopping list’ stuff they’d found in exchange for information and the promise of help with the trolls. She told them many interesting things about the area, and said she’d talk to her mother about what they might do about the trolls.

She and party met again at the blockhouse the following day, and she said she’d take care of one of the trolls, and that she’d give them some poison to put in the troll’s food in a couple of weeks, which should kill one of them, who would be sick by then. She also gave them a new shopping list.

The goblins decided to cause mayhem at the quarry, which got out of hand, and they slaughtered all the workers there, took the biscuits, bed sheets, and weapons, and ran off (carving “tiny elves” on the exterior wall of one hut first). In the battle they lit the roof and timbers of one of the mud huts on fire. They then fled safely home, disguising their route by starting off to the South at first.

Session 11: Ogres, Grimlocks, and Bees

Pyre decided she wanted to see the giant mice and the giant flowers, so the goblins took a trip to the West. They found the giant bee hive on the way, and decided to come back after dark. Then they came across a volcanic scree field, where they met three ogres who were sacrificing two grimlocks to a giant pile of leaves in the bottom of a sinkhole. Baughb convinced the ogres that they were part of the “green tribe”, and that if the ogres killed them, some trolls (who are also green) would come from the woods to kill the ogres right back. So the ogres decided to let the goblins worship their “god in the leaves”, but only if the goblins found their own sacrifice. The ogres pointed them towards a cave further up the hill, where they said they got their grimlock sacrifices. The goblins explored it, and found a small group of grimlocks, but couldn’t talk to them (Snaga, who knows undercommon, was left behind at the ettercap fort). They exchanged friendly gifts of food with the grimlocks, and left. On the way out, the ogres asked if they knew the orcs. The party tried to find out what orcs, but the ogres wouldn’t say.
They returned to the fort to get Snaga and work on projects for a bit. On the way back, they saw what they think was a Spider Eater, and the tracks of 10-15 dwarves, marching West.
They went back out that night to catch the bees while they were dormant. Along they way they stumbled into a wounded giant frilled lizard, which attacked after Pyre failed to make friends with it – they killed it handily, and took the head as a trophy and its feet and intestines for possible alchemical use.
Upon reaching the bee hive, they lit a smoky fire from green wood around the whole circumference of the hive, smoking out the bees, and then carved out a lot of honeycomb and took it back to the fort.

Baughb has been teaching several of the goblins the finer points of stabbing things in the guts, and Fizzle is contemplating becoming a cleric of the goblin god of havoc-through-machinery.

They intend to go back to the scree field, to talk to the grimlocks and see what the ogres meant about orcs.

Spot has been sent to fly due West for a couple of nights, looking for Winecrest, and to see if there’s anything between here and there that the goblins couldn’t cross.


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